


I Can't Let Go, Sinclair

by ThatRadFailure



Series: Baker Delta AU [16]
Category: BioShock 1 & 2 (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Baker Delta AU, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23770117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatRadFailure/pseuds/ThatRadFailure
Summary: It's been a few weeks since Sinclair's passing, but Delta still can't let go of him.
Relationships: Augustus Sinclair/Subject Delta
Series: Baker Delta AU [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998121
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	I Can't Let Go, Sinclair

Delta looked over to the empty side of the bed he and Sinclair once shared. He was trying to sleep, but the emptiness of that side just would not let him. He kept thinking of Sinclair, he couldn’t think of anything else.

But Sinclair was gone.

He’d been gone for a few weeks now, but the only thing that had changed since then was that Delta had run out of tears. There was none left for him to shed, but it always felt like maybe there was one more that would inch its way to his eye. Maybe he was subconsciously saving them for the funeral, maybe he really had gone dry, Delta couldn’t tell.

Delta just wanted Sinclair back.

He’d never gone through this before, not after his memory was wiped to turn him into a Big Daddy. Maybe his previous self had, but that person was gone and replaced with Delta. He wasn’t prepared for this, he wasn’t prepared for such a big loss. The last time he’d lost someone, he could fight tooth and nail to get her back. And he did, he had gotten Eleanor back and escaped Rapture with her, Sinclair, and the many Little Sisters. But he couldn’t fight, no matter how much he’d try if he could, to get Sinclair back.

Delta rolled over, looking to the wall on his side of the bed to try and clear his mind. Maybe if he just put that side of the bed out of his mind, he’d be able to sleep tonight. Surely that would help?

But he forgot about the pictures, the ones sitting on his dresser. Those smiling pictures, he hated that his eyes were adjusted to the darkness, letting him see the frames filled with birthdays and graduations and just general happy times.

The happy times that were gone. Delta didn’t want them to be gone, he wanted them back! The days with a youthful Sinclair, smiling and joking, picking up a little girl to spin her around a little.

He didn’t want to let go of Sinclair. Delta didn’t want to say goodbye to Sinclair.

He knew he needed to.

But he just couldn’t.

The smiles, the jokes, the laughter, the pet names… The coughing… The old age setting in… The slow deterioration of health… The frail, gaunt look…

Delta groaned, shutting his eyes tight and pulling the covers close up to his face as he curled up, trying to feel small. Maybe if he could trick himself into not feeling alone, he’d stop thinking about it. Maybe if he stopped looking, the pictures would stop taunting him. Maybe if he took up less space, he’d forget about the emptiness in his room. Maybe, it would all help him finally sleep. Maybe if he forced other thoughts into his head, that would help.

Delta tried. Oh, how hard he tried. He could feel the burn in his eyes as every thought he’d try to use and hang onto so he could get some sleep would turn back into a thought to Sinclair. Everything would connect back to him. The girls? The goofy jokes and terrible puns. Rapture? The guiding voice and only friend. The bakery? His help to run it and make it successful. The animals the girls wanted to adopt? Him saying no and his reasons to say so.

Everything, every single thing, it all went back to Sinclair. It almost made Delta mad, that he could not think of anything else other than him. He knew he shouldn’t be so upset, he knew it, but he just could help but think that way! He just wanted to sleep… He just wanted to let go…

But the sun rises, it’s warm light shining through the window and illuminating the old bedroom. It felt nice… It reminded Delta of the day he first stepped out into it, standing and taking in something long stolen from him. Then the rain had started to fall, and he stood next to Sinclair underneath that tree…

He missed it… Standing there, embracing the rain and sun. That moment had fled so quickly, why couldn’t this moment do the same?


End file.
